sticks, more sticks, always reprimanded

with a cane, rod, words pour down

of what i should have been

and pleas are long, constant, patient

but your ears are blocked off

because i am the life you never had, your fantasy

of what could have been for yourself

to take place through me.

dare not, words to utter least another slap

another time out, to be locked behind doors

for days, no light within the basement

while i hear the cheery parties outside

when you bustle about to adorn yourself

and go to the latest event.

i hear the rats squealing behind me,

it is so very dark here, i can barely peek through

the slits of the door, i can hear the footsteps

for the family readies themselves to some fun,

without me, begging to be part of the group.

i am the invisible boy, my echoes come back

faintly, my throat hoarse,

why have me when i am not wanted?

no matter, i will be brave to face the night,

it is always night in my world,

where shadows stretch longer than usual,

can’t be mine!

later on i would hear all the love there is for me,

how it was for my own good, to make me better,

bitter medicine is the best, you say

and i wonder why you don’t take some of

life’s bitterness yourself, since it is so very nourishing,

shut my mouth because

i do not want another thump on the head.

in my world, i am being nurtured with discipline,

i tell myself each day

this is what love feels like.