it’s just inner dialogue,

no big deal

a shuffling of feet –

a candle gets lighted up: who goes there?

and a muse began to sing;

found i started to copy

that sing song tune, began to take a stroll,

a walk into caves hauntingly beautiful,

a run into traps, cliffs, poisoned lakes

that appeared as nectar, exhilaration, purity

then i tried to retrace my steps

having doubled over in anguish, perplexed, frowning

permanently etched. what goes on?

could make neither head nor tails;

then the candle’s wick got burned out

and darkness clung on to my eyes, my insides

too wept from light gone – oppressive silence

hung in the valley, the sea, the beckoning came

subtly from an image come to life –

and he seemed oddly familiar;

though i could not place the memory;

and i turned to purity clear just reflections of shadows

lurking within – grasped not the stranger i saw.

for a ghastly song swept through;

a chill, a heat in my heart, like a burning,

and still i was chasing for the star that seemed

quite near. then it evaporated;

bewitched, yet calm, i felt no horror

at the stranger mocking, smirking

for my heart raced at the sight of nyx

who displayed all of darkness’s secrets!

i’m not that horror that tell am i?

found her lovely beyond words, what cool detachment

when fire and brimstone tried to carve out

fear – darkness winked, fear and fire retreated,

and then i heard the sound of chimes,

my familiar friend now showed me the molten wax

ah – this is you, he said. understood not, how could i?

for i was alive, well and still almost touching the star

while darkness wrapped around me like a blanket;

warm, fed, chilled, detached, like nyx

who smile made the fire cold!

cool, cool – my muddled mind reached and tugged

a soft blanket closer;

you must take it off – the familiar

said. and the foot steps retreated;

retracing paths i had taken to catch that sleight of

hand, something happened, an investigation

while the knots became dead

i found the cloak around me had become

my skin. tight, comforting, nostalgic

but as for detectives, plays and fun

i have had enough.

and it wasn’t till old nyx gave a cough,

did i see, feel tension rise;

this palpitating heartbeat i took for life

then i found meaning in a molten wax

whose light had winked out –

hug tight, soak up the sun

this fake star – meant to lure, turned out to be a dragon’s eye

and tears that fell hot more than hot

sizzling like fire eternal

i wondered why the poisoned lake

finally began to spit out

what lay beneath.

all in good time; i heard laughter cold

it was then i found where i knew that familiar face;

it was a time of innocence, a time of love, a time

uncorrupted by mammon –

by lust, greed, the whole horde

most are wisely educated. means nothing.

for when the song is sung;

your legs will do the moving,

your body will do the dance,

and if you tell me you would not,

nyx will say – they all do.

paths hidden, paths laid out, path buried, paths stolen

… … a beckoning, a face familiar, hand reaches out

it felt like poison, it felt like dirt, it felt like agony

little by little, my robe fell apart,

a stranger’s reflection began to smoke up;

like purity, lake of lies

i woke up grasping at my chest –

to find that the candle was still lighted up,

the sound of merriment, of jingles, of laughter

my feet began to tap, my body reacted:

fell on my face.

and found my first lesson –

my second

my third.

life’s heart beat, a dance, a turn, a whip

sometimes i swayed to nyx,

sometimes i found comfort in a beckoning

of a familiar friend,

and yet all this time sliding down,

like wax rolling off a candle

a voice, a calling, a betrayal

wax remade, repolished, forged

again, again, again

how many times?

day one, day two, day three

could i truly see, hear, sense?

i knew not, save that

a poisoned lake, a label, a cross road

each time a surprise;

nyx cooed … …

then the itch began, the sickness,

i held my cherished star in my hands;

an ornament really.

and that night, i finally found peace.