he had a point. fair enough – i said

when i inquired about present acts

there is always a good reason to side with reason

for i could see quite clearly that life had many twist,

turns, so much gray weather; i was running out of umbrellas

but a gleam in the dark told me of a cure! and what a cure

it was. i went 10 miles with my good friend, he always

had a way with words, always this would be the last time

though that appears to be years ago. this time is different.

i felt smug that my intellectual prowess was being used by

this ancient beast; who cared to dine with me, to be so very persuasive,

for meaningless me, unnoticed by most people since i could barely

blow out a candle. so what is your wish birthday boy? i stammered,

heart pounding wildly – he is so cute. always so attentive to my whims,

needs, never calls me foolish. what a friend. i patted him on the back,

though it may be a her, melting into the light, today an angel, angels

are more lovable. they rain showers of glitter, my friend can do that too.

so i tagged along on this long dreary road, he makes me laugh.

she flirts, tells me i am attractive even though i seem to be sinking lower,

each time i pass the measuring tape. gravity does work wonders, and

i am just getting younger, she kisses me on the cheek. i blush. then i thought

i should repent, you know of my evil ways – but my rationales came along,

like sweet candy, i got a sweet tooth, so i bit. you know. i told my friend,

you should be a lawyer. she chirped away like a magical squirrel, eager to meet

my acquaintance. and these days, no one seem to really want to go on in long deep

conversations. she does. she sees something in me. so i continued to tag along

while she steers the wheels, captain of my ship. little by little, i grew horns,

bleated like a goat. found i no longer could remember what being a human felt like.

a rod came down, i rebelled. good, good the goatherder grinned. i grinned at

skin scorched, at flesh bloated to unimaginable proportions, at brain whose firing

of synapses was filled with random noises. i boasted at greed, took delight in vanity,

valued wrath like a hoarder, saw lust as the epitome of life, the cherry on top and on my

road encountered a stranger who looked like me. he babbled, he was incoherent, he tried

to tell me i was hurting him because i was loud, i was a mean spirited wolf sucking in all

the lifeless pretending they were something else. i stomped away, with the earth grumbling

that a meal was just a meal. it did not always have to be cuisine. i roared – for opinions mattered,

mine. not yours. so the earth retreated when i got unruly, and the face was looked like me once –

stirred something. an acorn. buried, stolen away from the happy road to hell. the face that was me

fell from the sky; ripped away like ribbons, threads coming apart when the cackle of witches

buried needles deep into the heart. i twisted. i screamed. silence. then the hounds gathered about,

circled around took off ligaments, fingers, toes and all till i began to find myself lost in earth’s contemplation.

what to do now? but made no effort to move about; magma filled my lungs, my mouth spoke with a bull’s anger,

attacking red, purple but never pink. a bull’s eye. said a zombie with a yokai’s voice, then took a shovel

to discard my soul into cold water becoming ice. then the mirror shook, vibrated alarmingly, such that

i could no longer gaze into that reflection – reached out and pulled me in. to watch as i hammered me

into subservience, to whip me into a mashed potato – thoroughly cooked while the banshee’s sound

bled my ears. i tried to cover with my hands that awful piercing. stole too my heart. then i bellowed

into the wretched life clinging for dear life – save me. and i said you do not matter. only i do. thumping

away till even silver departed, having no more yearning to stay when the furies, the ghouls all came out

from my hands, my eyes, my voice, my soul: bleeding into me. why? and then i knew why of course,

for the sweet intoxicating joy of inflicting; a cheap price. when i mattered. and i died. it was one and the same

voice resonating louder, till the mirror cracked and the poison left my mind. where am i?

i talked to the devil, became that which i loathed – and how it started, how i went along;

they are all fuzzy details. not a neat clear line. so i did what my mother had always told me

to do. do not talk to strangers.