A lifetime of sacrifice and pretending otherwise,

my funny stories, my demeanor made to look cute,

cute for you, my jokes once again for you,

since it seems you are too thick to understand

that I have no need to jokes when they have

been rehearsed a thousand times, from me,

to me in a mirror and all I wanted was to laugh

it off but I cannot when your presence is

thick, like sulpur, poisonous fumes

I cannot intake, I am languishing while you are laughing

and you are the joker

though your face is serious, unknown

just another a placid, stranger’s muse,

I fall behind, a shadow of yours

and all this while: you told me

how happy I was.