they told me i could be reborn into

not me.

i wanted not me,

you see

i was never good at anything,

tried too hard

blamed it all on me,

like my mother.

died.

when blaming was all she did,

it was easier to confirm a bias

that i am wrong,

versus the world is wrong

we all tried too hard

not accepting that things have gone horribly wrong.

you see,

i am now living a life of a lie,

like you

if you aren’t living the dream

and even then.

stories are weird

i swear.

they told me many things i became

incredulous.

how could it be?

how?

then i understood the human heart,

flesh.

beats, beats now doesn’t it?

wanting to do something,

and it did not turn out the way you expected.

blame, blame, blame.

no one wants to take this slap

when saints are dead,

better to worship then

than to be them.

for it adds a touch of glory

to align with a side you know

no sacrifice.

it is easy.

no sacrifice and gain a slice if heaven

i too want to touch the

unreal, i am jaded now

having lived too long. too long

too long, i regret

lives lost.

and then i realize

i am still licking wounds unhealed.

dream of paradise unreal,

i lived on that

my entire life.