you said to speak truth

while holding a gun.

when a gun meant something

when skin tears, flesh erodes, heart fails

to believe in values.

what for?

each skins that tears, each flesh that breaks

each heart broken again,

all the while you nod, as if in understanding,

of.

what.

i do not comprehend, neither do you

you do a part of you

shut down, for stirring that awareness

erases you – mighty you, might, you’ve lived

it a long time, feels good i suppose.

which is why reason fails,

when reason is dull when pleasure if heaven,

and heaven is unreal,

it matters not.

for today, the knees will bow,

you say that is because you are right,

i say it was a gun

you say it was a choice

i say it was coercion,

you say it was faith and spin it to something fantastical,

i say it was blasphemy,

you say it was my wayward self

talking.

talking to myself, talking to yourself

as strength leaks, weakness is felt

speaker and audience, captive and assailant

feel the weakness,

like gravity – i regret, i forgive

when there in nothing left to regret or forgive.

time sweeps in, like a tsunami

leaving our shore without sand.

only rocks, of what can stand the test

of waves,

and when the waves are gone?

it is only you and me,

still spinning stories of what was,

what is, what could be.

that’s something, something real,

something of a gun really

though this gun is time, of stories

wrestling together in infinite age

ageless time. judgement delayed

when this tug of war is played out

each of us telling the other side, “you’re wrong:”

one of us surely must be.

judgement delayed, the stars bear witnesses

to our eternal struggle.

could i, could you

and we both already know only one

of us is right

when compromise means the delayed verdict

we both wished was not.