toyed, lied to, words spoken true

but the act says it all, and yet the sting

does not come. not at first, not after a while,

delayed, sometimes the midnight bell

never sounds. fast asleep the dreamer twitches,

sighs, then salivates at the thought of a pleasant memory

and races after it – strong heart beats slowly wanning

with time, do not disturb this peace!

convincing logic, calculated moves, almost strategic,

numb conscience unhelpful

till the brain rewires, the heart is slowly changed, malleable,

the question is: who are you pitting yourself against?

nothing, murmurs the lone walker because it

feels to be alone, a crowd of faceless breaths dashes

on – not my problem they say, sounds fair. sounds cruel,

sounds perfect depending which end you are standing on.

a blast of ice hits the skin, shivering uncontrollably,

crying unabashedly when pain digs deep. i must do this.

then the compromise, the rationalization,

speaking truth, crossing lines does not land without

a fall, how can it?

numb it, fight the negativity, that’s the enemy,

sounds logical as always.

unless sight is gone, hearing is loss, sensations are hallucinatory,

the real remains intact,

barks back, sounds a warning, ignore at your peril,

what about a fight that cannot be won?

a child breaks down, a wound that cuts not flesh,

a malaise not dispelled by talk – it goes in circles.

why does one walk in circles?

try to catch the rainbow promise, try to catch the heavenly

glory, try to shake off the dull lifeless heart wanting to beat

when gravity pulls.

shake it off, the set up is near perfect from a certain angle,

till the icy cold hits the face: takes off the heat of the moment,

dark matter release their secrets, a heart opens,

and wonder of wonders,

for there it was the fickle flame i thought was love.