dizzy awareness, salivate

for a drop of nectar –

just out of reach. hanging over your head,

reach back, a little backwards, try to grasp

a yearning, a longing, a tide

cascading, a waterfall, rushing headlong

into dangerous crevices, sharp,

untouched, unharmed, water

continues to flow, to erode, sediments

stir away, become cloudy, heady dizziness longing

for nectar. still out of reach, i am not water,

cascading downhill, adapting, flowing

tight, constrained, like crevices

being eroded – nectar burns. like acid, dipping in more

drooping, hanging by a thread,

backwards a little more, sweetness transforms

to feral faces, jaws elongated, venus plant

and i am a fruit fly. backward into

darkness: heavy curtains suffocate, shrinking,

life flows downwards, spiraling into chasms

a mind surrendering to an avalanche

of nectar no longer sweet. too much. still hungry,

becoming diabetic, then sudden faintness

comes along –

cascading down into hearts

beating strongly. self loathing, reprisals,

smack,

to try and wake up from

lucid dreams gone mad. feral animals

picking bones,

is it over yet?

pain, awareness or lack of: pinching my skin,

this is not a dream! cascade upbound

into steps, uphill climb, bitter caustic

nerves – what a hideous trap.

then level ground is reached, old faithful,

sturdy water moving about

sloshes, waves, pounding on a vacant

house – flows right through the gaps,

life, energy, sparkles, twilight

spills into morning. open the night

to hot burning sun eager to tell,

when earth becomes quiet, hear, hear

the heartbeat. lub dub, lub dub, there

there – i can hear it now,

as the sun pours out a brightness

so startling i must shut my eyes,

and still the waves, the pounding

continues, till the house is filled

with water taking in the sun,

moving, reflecting, alive, showing

of worlds i never knew. it was not nectar,

something deeper, goes past flesh,

into that big heart

of a star: i know, i hear, i witness

when strength had left me,

pulled me out of inconsistency, doubt, weakness

for fire ignites, transforms, transmutes.

this burning path so unlike

that backwards tic, tic,

tic – ancient calls, ancient surfaces to meet

the eye dressed in wonder. spell shocked.

gap, gap,

gap away into crevices hiding

water resurfacing,

as redemption from above. fire forges

a path in water, in the house called home,

there many doors opened,

paths visible when dirt got swept

out by cascading water, bending, rushing,

cleaning. sticky nectar, sticky situation, sticky

backwards, tic tic – replaced.